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When I joined Tinder this summer, more guys approached me in the first week than had approached me my whole life. Dating has never been easy for me, and now add to that the fact that I’m 31 years old — I’m not going out like I used to in my 20s, so there are even fewer opportunities to meet people.

Of course, I’d been hesitant about Tinder, since it’s obviously very looks-based.

Let's assume average or slightly above average looks, aside from the paunch. I dated a guy in my 20s who would be considered overweight via his BMI, but he was just a huge man.

If this guy were fun to talk to, and had a highly-skilled job (asume B. He went to the gym every day and was active as hell, but being slender wasn't anything he could achieve. Everybody else I've been with has been slender including my husband.

Solid, maybe a little belly or 15-20 pounds over what a chart says but with muscular arms, back, etc. I was always on the thin, petite side, and am pretty height-weight proportionate even now in my 40s (despite wanting to drop 15 for vanity's sake). I think if a lady doesn't like herself a fatboy, she shouldn't date a fatboy. This is coming from a guy who needs to drop a few....... I have a lot of overweight women in my circle (co-workers, friends who used to be skinny and women who were always big) and all of them have a problem with dating big, fat, overweight men when dating casually and speak in disgust if one tries to approach them.

So I guess that attracted the guys who were in decent shape. Since many women say personality is important, for some-- more important than looks (assuming the man is well-dressed, or casually but tastefully dressed), I'm curious to see if weight is a factor. Overweight, but still able to be active, go for walks or moderate hikes, maybe he even goes to the gym. Would you consider an LTR with him, if he had an upbeat personality, no baggage? I know all women can't be like that, but I always find it amusing when women cry about how looks matter so much to men and how women are more "open", but women (esp in their prime) are quick to dismiss short men (and high fiving in the process) even if they are short themselves, and how most all of the "BBWs" I know say things like "only I can be the big one in a couple" or they say "no way, I'd never date a fat dude" While I'm built and athletic and it doesn't offend me per say, it speaks volumes that women are JUST AS into looks as men.

" It's not because I'm ashamed of it; having extra weight is not on par with having robbed a bank. No, I don't tell people because it's just not that important to me anymore.

We were thrilled by the news because he is a great guy, good-looking and smart, with a lot to offer.

Everyone began to think of single women we knew who might be interested in meeting this terrific guy. Everyone was silent, discreetly sneaking peeks at the "fat" woman across the room.

If you’re a regular reader, you probably knew that I was on the CBS Early Show in July. We wrote two new profile essays that were unique, funny and confident.

Appearing with me was one of my all-time favorite clients, Tom Pandolfo. We renamed him “Look Ma No Hair.” And we watched as his in-box filled up with interested women.




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